so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
