She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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