to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
