remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
