I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize