What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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