Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
