my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize