ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
This show inspires me to have sex in space
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
