Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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