So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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