Just mADE A PArabola og urine
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
