I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
