there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
