Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
