would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
