I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
