if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
do herpes really smell.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
