forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
