It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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