I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
