it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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