Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
