ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
