just tell him i said nine months
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
