my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
