She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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