I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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