She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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