Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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