Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
