I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
