So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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