You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Randomize
