He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
