Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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