Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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