Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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