Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
