Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
