Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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