well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
