It's Friday. Sex?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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