It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
