haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
