Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Randomize
