So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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