I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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