all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
