pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
well you can't waste a boner
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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