I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
My life is pants optional.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
