Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
