I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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