I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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