what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
