am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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