using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
