sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize