the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize