about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
